Everyone knows at least one person who’s like this. They love to gossip. They’re lots of fun to talk to. They share your sense of humour.
With time, you become close. But why? What is it that brought you together? Are you really friends or is it just schadenfreude you shared? Nosy people make terrible friends and here are 5 reasons why.
They Will Dig More Consistently Than an Excavator
A nosy person will fire inquiry after inquiry about how much you make, how your last date went, or what you’d do if you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you. You keep playing it off, but they are relentless. The key is to stay friendly and lighthearted.
If they keep asking, jokingly inquire if they are working for the FBI. Yes, they’ll probably get upset, but at least they might realize they’re going overboard with their questions.
They Give You the Third Degree
This is the stage that comes after the relentless curiosity. When you make an effort to stop them from digging into your private life, they will start giving you the “third degree”. They will want to know who you’re having lunch with on your break, which party you’re headed to after work, and so on. If you tell them, they’ll crash the party. Nosy people will show up uninvited to gatherings and make you feel uncomfortable.
To cope with this without being rude, be as vague as you possibly can. “I might be doing this or that after work with so and so, but so and so hasn’t confirmed.” Or something along those lines.
Your Problems are Gossip to Them
Here’s where things get tricky. Nosy people will lure you in by pretending to listen and care. Well, they are listening, but that’s about it. They’ll get you to open up and then tell other people all about your private life.
The bad part is that you don’t find out what they were like immediately. It happens with time. When it does, you stop sharing. The show is over. But is it too late?
They Disrespect Boundaries
Nosy people have absolutely no respect for boundaries. They will broach any subject they want and focus on it no matter how many times you try to change it. The trick is to keep changing the subject until they get the message.
Whenever they “trespass” on your forbidden territory, turn the questions around or start talking about something completely different. Deflect curiosity by asking what they’ve been doing, how they are, and what they are watching or reading.
They Have no Interest in Helping
This follows from the third point – they get you to share and then just spread the news everywhere. Make no mistake – they will “try” to help. This will end up inflicting even more harm on you.
Let’s say you tell them about a health problem you have. They will recommend an incompetent doctor. They won’t do this on purpose. It’s just what happens when you have a nosy friend. If you’re struggling in your love life, they’ll advise you to keep trying dating apps so they keep getting what’s juicy news to them and heartbreaking disappointments for you.
