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You Deserve a Happy Life

8 Tough Truths No One Will Tell You

Life is a beautiful gift to be given but it can also be a harsh thing to go through. There are an awful lot of mysteries, challenges, contradictions, and uncertainties in it – those are what philosophers and theologians have been arguing for millennia about.

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With life being what it is, there are a lot of tough truths no one wants to tell us, especially not when we’re growing up. Truths that are either hard to swallow or are hugely discouraging but that are true nonetheless. However, it’s through acknowledging those truths and accepting them that we can use them to our advantage and make the most of what we’re given.

You’re Not the master of your own destiny

It’s a famous cliché that sounds really nice but “You’re a master of your own destiny” Is sadly wrong. It is empowering, however, and most of the time it’s good to act as if you believe it – with enthusiasm, desire, and confidence. Nevertheless, it is still important to understand and remember that there are always external factors around us that we usually can’t control. Chance and luck do exist and most of our endeavors are subject to their whimsy. The trick is to act as if you’re the master of your own destiny but to also keep an eye for the unexpected, accept its power, and adapt to it as best you can.

You can’t have everything you want

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The “American dream” is a beautiful thing to strive toward as are most other dreams and life goals we have. We all want the best out of life and we all have that one ideal future that drives most of our actions. And it’s not defeatism to admit that not all our dreams will come to past – it’s realism. This doesn’t mean that you should give up on what you want and that you shouldn’t try to get as much out of life as you can. It only means that while you aim for the stars you keep in mind that the moon is also not a bad place to end up at either.

Do you believe that our lives and society should be “Fair and just”? Is justice something we can always attain? We’ll talk about that below.

A lot of what we hold as undeniable truth is often wrong

All religions and philosophies acknowledge that humans are fallible beings. Whether you believe that it’s because God made us that way, because of free will or because we’re just animals with slightly more developed cognitive abilities, it’s a fact of life that we’re often wrong about most things. And there’s nothing wrong with that even if it’s a little hard to accept. Coming to grips with our own inadequacies and the mistakes we’ve been taught to believe is crucial for understanding how to change and improve your beliefs and accepting and forgiving yours’ and others’ mistakes. Not to mention that it’s a key part of our overall progress as a species.

Justice isn’t always on the table

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We can’t say whether the “ultimate justice” promised by most religions exists but as far as our physical world is concerned, it’s a fact that justice rarely prevails. As humans, our ego often dictates that we must have justice and that everything in life must be fair. Yet, that’s not always the case. Even if we put aside the inadequacies, corruption, and profit-driven decision-making of our criminal justice system, justice still alludes us in our day-to-day lives. And maybe that’s not a bad thing – “Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth” is just not a very practical rule most of the time.

Are you certain that you’ll be happy when you achieve all your goals? Or is it naïve to put your trust in that? We’ll discuss that soon as well.

Not every hardship is an experience you can use

People often try to console us when something bad happens by saying “All mistakes are experiences we can learn from” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” yet, that’s just not the case. Sure, it’s helpful to always try and look for the lesson or the silver lining in tragedies but it’s not true that all experiences are helpful. The fact of the matter is that a lot of times bad things just happen with little to no positives to them. Accepting that is much healthier and honest than trying to twist reality. When there’s a helpful experience to learn from, that’s good and when there’s not – just shrug it off and move on.

You can achieve most of what you aim for and still be unhappy

One of the biggest letdowns a lot of us go through lies in realizing that you’re not happy even after you’ve accomplished your goals. This is what fuels the mid-life crisis of a lot of people – working your butt off for decades to get a nice job, a good home, a healthy nuclear family, and a full bank account, and still being chronically unhappy. While this isn’t a situation that can’t be averted or remedied, it’s still something that might always happen even if you’ve done your best to avoid it.

Do you think you’re objective about most of the things you believe in? Or is it possible that you’re in a bubble? Let’s tackle that below.

There will always be people who don’t like you

One of the easiest ways to make sure that you’ll never be happy is trying to be a people-pleaser. Yes, it’s important to do things for others and to get along with those around you. And it’s definitely nice to get people’s approval. But it’s practically impossible to get everyone’s approval. People are just too different and our lives are too complex for everyone to be on the same opinion about something.

You live in a bubble. And you always will.

Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, a democrat or a republican, whether you work from home or an office, and whether you have 1,000 friends or just a couple, you live in a bubble. People always scream “You’re in a bubble!” to each other as if it’s some inescapable political “Gotcha!” but it’s something that’s true for all of us. Trying to expand your bubble is a good idea but even then it’s impossible to make your bubble all-encompassing – there are just too many points of view out there. The trick is to not just expand your bubble but to always learn and understand its borders. That way, you’ll have the best chances of understanding those that are outside your bubble.

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